Pythagoras, Euler, holes that have pigeons in them. You know what all these have in common? If you paid attention in your 8th grade algebra class, then yes, they're the names of really useful theorems in mathematics

It's considered one of the greatest honors in the scientific world to have a theorem named after you. After all, monuments and gravestones fade and die, but the agony of 19 year old college sophomores in Linear Algebra is forever.

But at what point is it just... too much effort to be a pioneer in an incredibly difficult academic field. For most people, including me, the answer is "not that much". Gravestones may fade, but donate 600 bucks to your city and bam, you're eternally memorialized on a park bench.

It's with this context I propose Chanel's Theorem. For every theorem σ, (every theorem must use greek letters), there exists a number α where if one gets α park benches with their name on them, their name shall reach the same number of people as σ.

Here's the challenging bit: is this true? The answer, like most things for me in math, is unclear. The pythagorean theorem is ingrained in most elementary school math classes, and since most adults were children at one point, that that demands a very large α.

But imagine if for every person who learned the theorem there was a park bench with your name on it in a very convenient location for them. If (conservatively) we assume 2 billion people know of the pythagorean theorem, that's 2 billion park benches. Impossible? yes, but only probably.

So now that we have our theorem, and a not-too-shabby proof, now what?

Good question. Maybe we can answer it in Chanel's Conjecture.